Transformed

I met Bindia around seven years ago and in that time I’ve become great friends with her and her husband Paul. We’ve done life together, shared stories over meals, worked out in flywheel classes, and grew in wisdom through a mini book club. We continue to catch up every week and go through a chapter or so of the book we’re reading highlighting what speaks to us.

But the real joy of this friendship comes in sharing the great things we’ve witnessed in our lives, through our shared Faith in God. Whether it’s through answered prayer, or great practical achievements in unifying people, we’ve seen the best victories of all in serving; literally making the world a better place by giving back, and relieving the challenges of all those displaced, marginalized, or simply in need of help.

A few months ago, while I praised these great works, I did not actively participate. The entire service ideal was not something I personally subscribed to. I easily rationalized my fear, and discomfort at the thought of approaching strangers to offer them prayer or food by telling myself “that wasn’t me”. I’d morally justify this internally by vowing to give back in other ways, which I rarely ended up doing anyway. You can talk yourself out of doing any good and right thing if you’ve allowed fear to have a loud enough voice. And I fundamentally believe that so many of us fall into the trap of thinking that way. That “it’s just not me”.

However, the first Saturday of March this year, after months of hearing Bindia’s amazing stories, and even helping her and Cayce set up this website, I decided to face that fear, conquer it and live by my convictions. I was free, able, and could no longer reconcile not joining to serve. We met in the Bronx to support New York City Relief in feeding people, giving them clothes, and helping them with housing or job assistance. It was seriously so easy. Almost immediately when I arrived the insecurity was gone and a spark of joy was lit. Compassion fell on me, and I ached to serve. No longer was I afraid of what people thought of me, but rather I was more focused on what I could do for them! Furthermore I experienced the intensity of my own problems dwindle, and appear insignificant in the face of serving hot chocolate to a line of people on a freezing cold morning.

I haven’t missed a weekend since. New York City Relief has established a profound sense of community, and this pure underlying urgency to serve people. It’s so genuine and so beautiful. That very desire steeps into you, and the intangible rewards are present and alive. I’ve experienced greater levels of joy, peace and contentment than I have in several years. There’s very much a certain bliss that comes from moving my focus from inward to outward; to making my present moment about others, and not myself, my things or my time…to being the outreach.

In turn, the giants and mountains in my life don’t seem so big or insurmountable anymore. All the more obvious are the blessings. Things I’d taken for granted for years, like having a full time job, my own apartment, or the ability to eat whenever I want, are set in the right perspective. And I know now, that I’m blessed for the sake of blessing others; I’ve been loved abundantly, so that I may pour out love abundantly. And everyone needs love in some measure.

If anything, what so many learn later in life, I am thankful to have realized now and actually wish I had started earlier. That wealth is not limited to your wallet, and can be futile unless spent on good. There’s so much purpose found in taking responsibility for your lot, bearing your cross, and using your life to reduce the suffering of others. My Faith is quite clear that a resounding assignment for ALL of us is to serve the poor, feed the hungry and heal the sick. But I also believe what’s sometimes lost in that sentiment is just how fulfilling joining the process is. Doing God’s work, serving people, actually making the world better. There’s nothing else like it.

Thus to end this with a basic call to action or recommendation, I’d say to just go once. One time is all it took for the eyes of my heart to break open. It doesn’t necessarily have to be New York City Relief, but there’s no shortage of people in need these days and I bet you’re reading this on a smartphone. So volunteer. Find your outlet to give back. Taste and see the goodness of it, and dwell on that thereafter. Seeing someone smile, and getting the most humble thank you after handing them a cup of soup is priceless. And who knows, maybe like me, you’ll be left with a renewed mind, a softened heart, and likewise all the better be transformed.

Christopher M.